That's right, folks, there are ways. Now I try to refrain from posting anything negative because we have enough of that in the world, and unlike what a lot of people think, I actually do have a filter. But sometimes, a bit of dry humor can be fun, and if you know me, I have WAY more than just a bit...so, for fun, let's see how many I can come up with
1. This takes a bit of explaining to do and is probably a bad example to kick this off with. But it's one that I always thought was more ME being jealous of the people that do this, but after a bit of discussion, it's not me because it's annoying to others, I've found. So, there's a way to have this false humility but really you're an attention sucker. These people not only love attention, but they thrive on it. And the REALLY good ones have everyone fooled into thinking they're the sweetest, most humble people in the world, but it's all agenda based. Before I saw this for what it was, I would think I wasn't sweet enough (and I wouldn't say I'm really sweet at all, but I'd sure tell you the truth if you asked), but what I'm not is a brown noser and if you like me, great, if not, bye....anyway, that's a convo and probably a bad start.
2. Being condescending to stay at home moms. Phrases like, "Ha, I wish I got to stay home all day! (in a derogatory way like I sat home and drank champagne all day while you sat in your cubicle) or "What do you DO all day?" or "I could never be home all the time." Here's the deal, I'm pretty sure I didn't sit down for most of the day, and if I did eat, it was standing up...or in the car...or in the closet because I didn't want to share. :) And chances are high, that you went to the bathroom alone. That's a job perk I haven't had in a really long time. Worst offender being my husband.
On the flip side of this, is acting like being a stay at home mom is a punishment. There is NO greater thing you can do, in my opinion. Actually POSTING things like, "My kids are driving me nuts. All they do is gripe and complain." Gee, I wonder where that comes from. Our kids drive us crazy at times. We drive them crazy too. It's true, but I try to NEVER make anyone in my family look bad no matter how I FEEL in a moment of tiredness or frustration because they are why I get up every day.
3. Not moving out of the way when you can see I'm trying to get what you're standing directly in front of. This can be at home or in the store. I know patience is a virtue and one I don't have the most of. I also realize this is more my problem than anyone else, so I wouldn't put you on my hit list forever if you did it to me.
4. Telling me I have my hands full when I have all of my children out and about. The average American family these days includes 2 children, but you throw one more in there, and suddenly you are over the edge OUT THERE crazy. I don't get it. I have ONE more kid than you do. Is it just a conversation starter? If so, okay, whatever. But if you REALLY think that, why? 3 was a much easier adjustment for me than 2 was anyway. What was one more once I had more than one? It's just weird.
5. Getting in my personal space when I don't know you. This doesn't happen really often...but do you ever stand in the checkout line and you can almost feel someone breathing down your neck? I can give some dirty looks, and I'll turn and give them...to complete oblivion. BACK UP.
6. Bad service at a restaurant or any public place where I'm paying for a service. This includes being unwilling to help me or acting like you need an explanation when I'm asking for nutrition info. It's really not your business why I need it. I'm sure the first initial response is that I want to lose weight and why would SHE want to lose weight? Well, frankly, if I wanted to lose 30 lbs, it's really none of your business. Get me what I asked for.
7. Acting like you know about type 1 diabetes or comparing your uncle's cousin's sister's niece that is 300 lbs that has type 2 to my kid. I think I've said this before so I'll move on.
8. Telling me to hurry up. I always feel rushed. I don't like how fast life is going, so to tell me that just makes me feel even more so. For a while, no matter what I did, Travis would always say, "Okay, hurry up," and I told him how it made me feel. I KNOW I only have this amount of time. And sometimes? I just want to take my time. I want to take a LONG shower. I want to spend 45 minutes fixing my hair. I want to put on some makeup and then read a bit before I finish. I know it's annoying, but I just want to breathe sometimes.
9. Ungrateful people. Nothing worse really. People that are not only ungrateful but that feel entitled. I HATE entitlement.
10. Telling me that I have gained weight. This is a big one folks. I know it sounds crazy, but I couldn't count on both hands how many times it's happened to me. I tell myself it was meant complimentary, and I'm actually in a place now that I could stand to gain some. HOWEVER, don't say it. Tell your friend. Tell your significant other if it's a convo that you feel you need to have. I don't care if I was lost on a deserted island and down to 60 lbs and once back on the mainland, I'm nourished and back to a state of health (Castaway, anyone?). Do NOT say, 'You've gained weight.' Nails on a chalk board, and if I don't give you the finger to your face, be assured I'm doing it in my mind. :) Here's things I like to hear, "Julie, you look GREAT. You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are flawless. Beyonce, who?" okay, you get it.
11 Not answering a logistic text or email in a timely manner. Seriously, if I send you a text that actually needs an answer for specific purpose and it's simply a yes or no answer, could you not wait half a day to do it? Because what I do depends on your response.
12. Barking dogs.
13 People that love barking dogs and treat them better than people. (PS: After a recent facebook survey, I had a lady ask me about my dogs. I think she was wanting to take them off of yours truly, the dog hater's hands, but Travis would divorce me for that one lol)
14 Everyone is a singer. "Oh, yeah so and so can sing!" The unfortunate part about singing is that anyone can. Hear me. Anyone CAN physically attempt to sing. I cannot fake being a gymnast. I cannot do a back flip. So what do many people flock to? Singing. Because it takes nothing to try. Now the people that have the ability of hearing can figure you out pretty quick, but even then, there are some that slip through the cracks.
15. Being overly religious. I do believe that everything is spiritual. But devils around every corner and everything is this spiritual demon? No, baby, sometimes you're just an idiot. Like NEVER being able to just have fun unless it involves praying or reading the bible? Jesus had friends! He had a good time. HE WAS the good time! He wasn't alone praying all the time. Get over yourself.
Sigh...okay, it's late. I could probably come up with things indefinitely, but nah. Caffeine is starting to wear off. Some of these are in fun, but there are a few that if you know me, you know I'm dead serious. Maybe one day I'll look back at this and think completely different.
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