She's not a baby anymore...

When her reply to something I had asked her to do was: "Not right now. In just a minute. I'm busy right now."

You Spin Me Right Round Baby...

I am soooo dizzy right now. I'm glad that nausea isn't hand in hand with it like yesterday, but nonetheless, I'm annoyed right now. I feel like I've twirled in a circle for a solid 5 minutes and stopped suddenly. It takes me a few minutes to focus on something when I turn to look. GOD HELP!

What I've Been Doing in my Spare Time

Lately, what I've been doing in my spare time is worry/go to the doctor. I kind of laugh at this for several reasons. One is that this is so not in my character. I NEVER go to the doctor. If I'm sick, it's just going to have to run its course anyway, so why waste $25 bucks? Another reason is, who can add one day to his life by worrying? If God cares for each bird and sees when one falls, then how much more does He care for YOU? SO don't worry about what you will eat, what you will wear, what ailment will attack you...yes I'm paraphrasing, but Jesus meant that too. DON'T WORRY.

But lately...I have. Actually I think it's been more attached to me. I woke up out of a sleep two nights ago from a dream that felt like I'd actually been awake. In the dream, I felt under my arm, and there was a big knot. When I woke up, I had to go, "Did that just happen?" My arms have been hurting--actually more in my back. I've been to doctors, really just as routine checkups, because I hadn't been in so long, and EVERY time I get perfectly fine reports...but yet? I've worried. I've been anxious. I've asked everyone who will listen, "Do you think this is okay? Should I be concerned?" wanting something that I already have. Confirmation. It's ok. Why do I need confirmation from someone when the Creator of all already gave it? It's okay! I found this verse a few weeks ago.

Exodus 23:25-16
"Worship the Lord your God, and His blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span."

That last part is my absolute favorite. FULL LIFE SPAN. How does this come? Worship the Lord your God. The Bible is full of 'do this, get this.'

Anyway, I woke up this morning, and I couldn't visually focus on anything. When I got out of bed, I couldn't walk straight. NOT FUN. Sage came into my room and wanted to go downstairs. I just had to sit down. I didn't know if I was going to throw up or pass out. I thought Travis would have to drive me to the ER. It lasted for about an hour. Then it seemed to pass...mostly. I just still didn't feel "right." Soooo, I go to the dr. Of course, I prayed and believed God for nothing but good. As I waited in the waiting room, I read some of a book I'm reading, "Blessing Your Spirit." I read this, "Trust is not an act of your will, where you choose to risk something, but it's a profound emotional confidence, in which you are completely expecting things to be right. There is a time and a place for risking on God as an act of faith, even when your emotions don't agree, but it is far greater, a more wonderful special gift, for you to trust and be truly at peace with what your Father is going to do and what He has called you to do."

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4

I wondered why it said "the Lord" so many times in that one verse. I looked up Lord, and here are some definitions:
A king
A man of renowned power or authority.
A man who has mastery in a given field or activity

I think it was repeated so much, in my case, for reassurance. And He is THE KING. THE man of renowned power and authority, and THE ONE who has mastery in any given field and activity. THAT is cool.

Anyway, the cause of my dizziness was fluid in my inner ear. NOTHING to worry about, but it will FOR SURE mess you up. An added bonus was I found a new doctor that wasn't INSANE like the last experience I had there. I actually loved her.

One more thing:
On my way there, I asked the Lord to give me some kind of confirmation (I wonder if He rolled His eyes, haha) to REASSURE me. A song came on the radio that I'd heard before and started to switch it, but I heard Him say, "Nope, leave it. It's from me to you, baby." I laughed/cried at the same time. You've probably heard it too. It was enough for me to chill out. :)

Chill out whatcha yelling' for?
Lay back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
you will see
I like you the way you are
When we're drivin' in your car
and you're talking to me one on one but you've become

Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no

Discovery

I have found a loophole.
It's pretty cool.
*giggle, giggle*

One Arm Jig

The following video is a clip from my church yesterday. It amuses me on many levels. Luke's face is gangster when he plays the organ. Bill is waving some kind of handkerchief. I'm doing some kind of weird jig at the very beginning. More than any of these, what amuses me most is the lady in the red shirt. The way she can get down all while keeping her arm limp at her side is amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Jennifer.

Happy Birthday, Renea!

Last night was Renea's birthday. We all had a really great time over fried oysters, shrimp cocktail, and Texas caviar. Those were just starters! I'd LIKE to say that she was surprised, but Renea couldn't allow that to happen. Happy Birthday, my friend. I hope it was great!


Waiting for Renea in a very strange fashion.
I am in love with this cake. That's 3 layers of pound cake covered in cream cheese icing. It weighed about 30 lbs and will probably put at least that much on you.
The birthday girl and myself.
I don't know what these faces are, mine in particular, but it was exciting at the moment.
America's Next Top Models...in our world.
Happy Birthday to you!
Travis and I not sure which camera to smile at.
Some of the girls!

Night at the Museum

Sage and I went to Birmingham on Tuesday to visit Chrissie and family. We took the kids to the museum there, and though Harrison and Isacah are veterans to it, it was all new for Sage. We did manage to pull them away from the water exhibit, though looking back there was no need. I think they all could've played there the entire time. Aren't the all so sweet???!

Very cool

Today, Travis and I were discussing going on the John Mayer cruise NEXT year. He said, "Our first cruise has to be without kids." I said, "Well yeah!" Then he said something that I thought was so cool for HIM to say. He said, "Oh wait...you're probably going to be pregnant then. That may not be so fun." ha! NOT true. I'm the funnest then. That's the first time he's said anything like that without a prompt from me. Exciting!

I am ALIVE.

I haven't blogged for a while, and it's just because I've been busy. Here's what's been going on:

• My great friend, Renea, has a birthday on Friday, and I am throwing her a party. All has come together for that, and it should be a great time...oh wait, I need a babysitter. MOST has come together for that.

• There is a huge kids' consignment sale in Birmingham, and I have hung up and tagged (with the major help of my favorite) all of Sage's spring and summer clothes from her entire life to sell. I had them stored for that next baby girl, but let's face it....I will buy new clothes. I also want money.

• I like coffee now! No, I love coffee now. I have been eyeing coffee makers to find that perfect one. It's been an added bonus in my life: more caffeine.

• I found a new OB/GYN (mine moved to Ky, go figure) and went for the first time in 3 years. VERY exciting. Nothing says "good morning" on a Monday like a pap smear. Fabulous. I also discovered I have fibrocystic breasts--even more excitement. I was hoping she could give me something to regulate my raging moods/depression/food cravings/exhaustion during PMS. The only solution to this: YAZ (a birth control) or antidepressants. Neither one is ideal for me right now. I suppose I'm destined to be fat and moody for now.
  

• I suppose this should be a blog in itself, rather than a bulleted stament, but it's more delivery than thoughtful. Some of you know this, some may not. Travis's daughter, Meagan, who does not live with us and hasn't for 3 years now, is pregnant with a girl. No one will know how the entire situation of her in general has affected our marriage, BUT I can say, for the first time in 3 years, that it's not influencing my decisions on how I live my life anymore. This is a very good thing, and it brings me to my last statement of something I never thought I'd say after the past 3 years. :)

• We WILL start trying for another baby this year. You'll just have to wait for that one. ;)

Vacation

I want and NEED to take a vacation, and I want to go to wherever it is that my immune system has apparently gone. I still hadn't felt 100% better after whatever I had last week. I woke up at 3:30 this morning with the worst EVER--nausea and vomiting! It is TERRIBLE. God speed my wellness!

Days that I Hate my Life

This was the John Mayer cruise that I was SUPPOSED to go on, but it didn't happen. I'm sick over this. Umm, and yes, he is REALLY almost naked. I'm very distraught I've missed this. God bless whoever took the pictures.

Reasons #999-1000 why MY dogs belong outside

I would say that these pictures speak for themselves, but perhaps they don't. The first one of Mayer amuses me because he IS outside, but he reminds me in this picture of that reason. If you're wondering what appears to be the small tree uprooted against his doghouse, it's just that--a small tree. I have NO idea how he did that.
And this lovely picture is Chanel's work of my bathroom door. She is STILL on bed rest, believe it or not. I HATE what happened to Chanel, but I want to break her other leg when I see this. Oh, and this is only PART of it. The actual door is a mess as is the other side of the door frame.
Does anyone need a dog? *wink, wink*

I Feel

SICK! I had a fever all day yesterday, and today I'm just kind of "blah." So I just don't really have any cool stories or cool pictures to show you. I apologize, but I do think that I will be up to par again very soon..just not today.

What Happens When 3 Year Olds Dress Themselves

Speaking of...

new bedding yesterday, Sage isn't the only one who got a bed makeover. Well, we didn't get a new bed, but I totally redid our bedding. Well, I say "I." Ha, I paid for it...actually I didn't even do that.

Chrissie picked all this out, and I think she did a great job! I absolutely love all the different colors and textures! I should have taken a before/after, but I had already taken all of the old bedding off by the time I thought of it. It was all white. That's it. Simple and it was pretty, but now it's gone!

Revelation

I believe that our revelation of who God is as believers today is further than it has ever been. There is more than we could imagine, but we are further than we were. I remember growing up and being afraid to take communion without praying for an hour to forgive any sins I wasn't aware of. You'd condemn yourself if you took communion with sin in your heart.

Today, I believe God has revealed Himself as the utmost loving, caring, gracious and forgiving God. And He is. And now we've gone into a time of freedom. It's really great too. We can wear pants. Girls can wear makeup. I run with that last one too. I always say that I look like I rolled out of bed or am on my way to the club. It's cool. Do what you want as long as you can stand it. This is great too. It has personally allowed me to come light years in my relationship with God and my faith. It's a great place to be.

However, for myself, freedom can go too far. You can get to a place where everything you say and do comes with the disclaimer, "Well I'm free, so it's good." For myself, I had to have that, or the extent of that, reexamined in my life. I'm not "religious" either. I'm in a holy covenant with a Holy God. Something our pastor preached about at the beginning of this year was "living with the fear of the Lord," and it struck me. Not "fear" as in, "God scares me." It's living your life knowing that He is Holy, and I want everything I say and do to honor Him and to glorify Him. If He stopped thinking about me for one millisecond, I would simply cease to exist. HE IS HOLY.

I'm far from this way of living. I get careless, but I'm reminded that He's kept me from so much. I don't know if we can fathom how holy He really is. And to think how I've lived at times, even as a Christian, is scary. So, it's a work in progress, but it's amazing the scripture you find about the fear of the Lord. And it's not slavery either. Listen to what I read a few days ago.

Psalms 25:12-14
"Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.
He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land.
The Lord confides in those who fear Him;
He makes His covenant known to them."

Read it again. Do you know what confide means? I looked it up.

to have confidence : TRUST
to show confidence by telling secrets

Those that fear the Lord will have the LORD'S confidence in THEM. He has things to say! And He's not telling them to just anyone. I usually think of myself confiding in God, but HIM in ME?! That's crazy! But it's true. All that we want or need we actually get by living in fear of the Lord. It's wild, but it's true.