Under the Weather

I am sick. Like nasty sick. Like fever, stuffy head, nose, sore throat (isn't this a commercial?) The sickest I've felt in a long time. I have self diagnosed myself with either the flu, a sinus infection or strep throat. :) I won't complain much on here because who really cares, but Sage has been so sweet. Last night, the worst of it started to settle. I was running a fever and freezing at the same time while my eyes were tearing. She got up out of bed after we'd already done her normal routine and said, "Mommy, can I pray for you?" Well, of COURSE. She prayed the sweetest prayer. Something along the lines of "Jesus we know this is really contagious, but with you, it doesn't have to be." Amen to that. I don't want to share this with anyone. Then she said that she'd have a surprise for me in the morning, and this is what it was. She served me a Daniel Fast friendly (minus the butterscotch) breakfast in bed all on her own. She was so proud!

Birth Day

Yesterday, a new little life took her first breath. Meagan had her baby girl, Nevaeh Emory, a few minutes after 2pm. If you'd have told me that I'd have been in on all that mix 9 months ago: sitting in the lobby with my kids, Travis, Meagan's mom, Shelly, and the baby's father and family who we had never met until that moment, I'd probably have laughed in your face, but things are different now. So there we ALL were. It was an odd situation. I looked around at kind of the mess it seemed to be: SO many different families and lifestyles and personalities and values...and then, in just 8 hours after Meagan arrived, there's this tiny, sweet, beautiful baby girl. We heard her before we saw her. Tiny cries from lungs just minutes into working. And I thought, isn't that what Jesus did? Came as this tiny, innocent baby right into our mess and dysfunction. How sweet is she?

I felt so many different emotions. When I walked into the room, I realized this was the same room where I had the child that's now looking down at the new baby here. It was surreal.

Meagan is doing really well, and thus far is nursing her, which I personally am REALLY encouraging her to do. I'm not one of those people that push natural births (You guys that do that are annoying if you try to push it on me), but I definitely believe in breastfeeding. She's doing a great job.

You can't see a brand new baby and not cry...not minutes after their arrival. It's impossible. At least, it is for me. But I don't think I'm the minority there. Sage's first glimpse up close. She was intimidated by all of the people that she'd never seen before and wouldn't get too close until I told Travis to take her over there.

It was overwhelming to be in that room because there were SO many people. Meagan had the fastest, easiest labor and delivery of anyone I've ever known (seriously, today, she is in NO pain. None. I cannot even fathom the thought. I thought I was falling apart!), but she was tired. And I remember how I felt when everyone was around me seconds after I gave birth, so we didn't stay long then. But we came back later that night so we could see little Miss up close and personal. She is so pretty. Funny story: on the way out, TRAVIS said, "Love you, Meagan. Good luck on your first night. You don't have to hold her the whole time. Lay her down. It's okay to let her cry so she's not thinking she has to be held all the time. Teach her to sleep." I cut him off and said, "UM NO! You pick her up every time she cries because she is HOURS old and not manipulating you to stay awake and have a good time. She needs to eat all the time at first and feel secure that you are there. Do not listen to him." Travis laughed and said, "Oh okay. yeah, pick her up. Don't listen to me."

Eek! I have a weakness for baby girls in headbands. I bought her this one. So precious.

Sage LOVES to hold her and asked me if we could have a baby, too.

On the way home, she even went as far as to demand who would watch her and Jaggar when I was in the hospital after having the baby. When I told her that I didn't know (I've not really worked out the details of a nonexistent pregnancy thus far), she got MAD that I didn't have someone booked for this appointment. :)

My poor baby was SO tired. He slept until 7 this morning and both Jaggar and Sage took a 3 hour nap today to catch up from yesterday. It was a LONG day.

Is there anything sweeter than holding a brand new baby?

And then...something he's never done: JAGGAR held the baby.

This melts my heart. Look at his face. I remember when Kylie was born, and Sage was very...almost jealous. She didn't like Travis holding her, and whatever we did with her, she would do with her baby doll. Jaggar? He couldn't have cared less. He acknowledged her, but he was just happy to be there. We asked if he'd like to hold her, and he said, "Yes." This face is the sweetest thing ever. He has since asked about it and asked me if we could have a baby. I'm so glad we got to be a part of Nevaeh's first day. She is a precious, beautiful girl.

Weekend Recap

I can't believe the weekend is already over. It doesn't really matter though because we are on spring break. Spring break 2012--OXFORD. Should I get an airbrushed t-shirt? :) We are staying here this week, but we will still have fun. I saw the Hunger Games on Friday night with the Varvell crew. I had planned to go and see it on Saturday. So I texted Jennifer to see if she wanted to go. She didn't respond, so I went on to Heather Varvell, and she, Luke and their boys were going that night, and she asked me to join them. It was a LATE movie. 9:45-12:15. That's 12:15 midnight, and I found myself yawning a few times, but we had a good time, and the movie was excellent. It doesn't touch the books, but everything is so much better in a book. I like myself better in writing, so I knew I'd feel the same about a movie. We are still thriving. I've made it through my first week. Travis is actually doing a lot better than he let on that he'd do. It seems crazy that it's only been a week because it feels like SO much longer. But I'm feeling better about it all. I'm out of sugar detox, and I don't hate the world anymore, so that's good. And we are seeing some benefits already.

Several weeks ago, I decided that I wanted a Shark steam mop. My downstairs floors, particularly the family room, get dirty REALLY fast, and mopping them with just a regular mop and spray wasn't fun. So my mom told me to wait until Khols marked them down and for when I got a coupon that they send. Well, sure enough, I got a coupon, and I told myself the next time that I got an extra 30% off that the Shark would be MINE. Last week, they sent me one, and it's always 15%, 20% or 30%. Lo and behold, I got a 30%. Jackpot for me. But I ALSO wanted the Shark to be marked down, which is regularly $129.99. That day it wasn't. Sooo, I checked it the next day, and sure enough, it was marked to $109. That plus the extra 30% was the deal I wanted. SO...I went to Khols and they had 2: the one I was looking at for 109 and then the professional for $170..not on sale. When I went to check out, it came up $170. I said, "Oh..that's supposed to be $109...but I guess I grabbed the wrong one." She immediately goes, "That's okay," and marks it to $109 and then takes off another 30%, making it $86 with tax." I was like, "No really, there is one back there for $170...I must have grabbed that one, like it was under the other display." She said, "No, it's fine." SO...:) after telling her several times, I said, "Okay!" And I, indeed, got the $170 one. Oh yeah, the one with 3 heat settings and FIVE covers. Thrivin' baby. That's how it works! It's pretty amazing too. I do realize my life needs something exciting since I'm so excited over a mop, btw. I'm clearly old now....but it's still great!! :)

Sage thought she'd play a little, "I don't feel well" on her last day of school before break. I have NO idea why, but I just knew she was lying..or exaggerating I should say. I believe her stomach may have ached some. I don't believe it lasted long nor was it a stomach virus of any kind. So I took her a little late on Friday in case she was going to throw up like she said. She seemed perfectly fine, but I got a call from who I assume was the nurse saying that, from what Sage was saying, it sounded like she had gerd. I almost laughed on the phone. Really? Overnight? Um please don't diagnose my child. He said if she didn't feel better in a day or two, that I'd want to get her checked. To anyone that actually does suffer from reflux, it's not funny at all, but I knew this was such bull. So I go and get her, and lo and behold, she made a MIRACULOUS RECOVERY. Amazing, right? I informed her that she and I both knew that she could have stayed at school, and that that was the first and last time she would play that trick without being punished. Doesn't this start in like middle and high school? So, I called Travis' mom later and asked if Sage could spend the night, which she did. I wasn't really mad at her (who didn't do that when they were in school??), and I thought it'd be fun for her to kick her spring break off like that. That left us with little J to ourselves. I thought he'd be sad that he couldn't go (we didn't want to tamper with his sleep habits in ANY way yet), but he was just fine being the only child. We took him to 32 degrees.

So hard to just spectate there, but I wasn't about to take a bite with the initial shock of no sugar out of my system. Once I get going, I'm good, and I'm not going to mess that up any time soon. But for this guy, he totally enjoyed it.

And then today: Sunday. If you ever wonder how we prepare right before we sing, it's important stuff like this. Look at Jen's sassy streak in her hair. She's so pretty.

She and I are going to be sharing clothes soon. She has lost 23 lbs on Weight Watchers, and I'm very proud of her. She looked beautiful today.

And last but not least, my brother drew this! He's taking some art classes, and he has to draw certain things for class. I think the subject for this was "breathtaking beauty" or something like that. ;) He got the picture from this post. Pretty amazing.

The Way to Play

During the weeks that Jaggar was up all night long, I was pretty useless. When the mornings came and Sage was off to school, I would take Jaggar back upstairs to my room. I would bring toys in and then just get back in the bed. I never went into a deep, dead to the world sleep (not that I've done that in over 7 years now anyway), but I needed SOME kind of rest again to make it through the day. These days are getting better. He's not up all night. He just made his usual 7am waking time to now be before 6 am. It's not preferable, but it's definitely doable. Sage was like that as a BABY...not an almost 3 year old. Anyway, what I'm saying is, I'm not laying in the bed until 11 am anymore. :) We go downstairs and watch the big TV and play. And this is how he plays. Instead of putting his smurfs (or Rudolph toys or Tangled toys) on my nightstand, they go ALL over the family room floor.

Strategically placed, Papa Smurf watches over the group. During that hellacious time of Jaggar not sleeping, someone suggested that maybe he had some toys or something in his room that opened the door to the demonic realm. Yes. I said that to Travis and he said that if he had anything to do that, it was his Smurfs. Then he went on to say that "Gargamel," the bad guy in that is the name of an actual demon, per some preacher in the 90s. I asked Travis if this demon had personally introduced itself to him. I'm sorry, I know the smurfs are a little weird. And it's not my favorite. But I grew up watching Ghostbusters. It was my favorite movie. As a child, I never even realized what it was about until I watched it as an adult. I still like it though, but I'm not showing it to my kids. But Jaggar LOVES his Smurf toys. And I wasn't about to take them away because I remember loving Disney movies, and someone was always trying to point out what demon was in every movie I loved: Lion King, Little Mermaid, Aladdin...on and on. Bottom line: You can find whatever you are looking for. My kids love to play with the smurfs. I'm going to let them.

I guess I should address the fact that he doesn't have pants on, even though I don't even notice. Now that he's potty trained, he can take his clothes OFF, but has a hard time getting them back on.

He wanted a picture to be taken of Papa Smurf.

But his favorite remains to be Smurfette. We are all "Smurfette," by the way. He says, "Mommy, are you Smurfette?" If I say no, he will say, "Yes, you are." When I say, "Come on, Jaggar, let's go!" He says, "I Smurfette." I tell him to wake Sage up for school (a joy in his life), and I heard him say, "Come on, Smurfette." Daddy is Smurfette. Sage is Smurfette. Jaggar is Smurfette. And I am Smurfette.

Speaking of that Daddy, he FINALLY got home Monday evening. That was a LOOONG 5 days, let me tell ya. I don't think I could handle a full time life that way where he was constantly on the road, and I know my kids couldn't. Or it could be the other way around: Kids probably couldn't. I know I couldn't. He's covering up a zit on his chin here. My fortune overtook him.

Advice

I had someone message me out of the blue today for some advice and guidance about a relationship. I didn't respond right away because if anyone comes to me for something serious, especially someone that typically doesn't even talk to me, I definitely don't want to steer them wrong. Frankly, I don't want to steer anyone at all. It's a lot of pressure. But I prayed that God would give me the right words to say. And He told me that I already knew what to say...so I just started writing. I write much better than I speak, by the way. In person, I can be a mess. Unfortunately, there is no delete button. My mouth works faster than my mind at times (most of the time). Sometimes it's awesome; other times it's awful. Anyway, based on their response back, I said exactly what needed to be said--thank you, Jesus. I read it to Travis and he said that it's a shame I don't do more writing. So, while I think on that, I thought I'd re-post what I wrote. Even though you don't see what was asked, I think this is helpful either way.

First of all, I try not to judge people's relationship or lack thereof with God on if they go to church or not. I personally know some people that are faithful attenders, but their actions don't suggest a very personal relationship with the Lord...at least not one I'm interested in knowing. Anyway, you are right, if you ask God to guide you, He will. He's VERY interested in that. And I don't think it's coincidental that you got your revelation on the life your boyfriend at the time was living. Was it the answer you wanted? No. But it's what you needed to hear and see. I believe if you constantly live this way, asking God about every area of your life, He will show you. It won't always be immediate, and other times you'll wonder if He heard you, but He always answers. HE can shut doors that need to be shut in your life and open the ones that need to be opened. Just ask Him. And live in faith that He is doing that, even when it's not what you want. I too can take my own advice. I can't say what David's intentions are...but the Bible says to you "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on what you understand. In your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6. When I was growing up, I never dated. It just didn't seem useful to me because I knew I wasn't going to marry anyone in high school. So I thought it was senseless to date people only to break up. After I graduated, I hadn't decided on a school yet. I just didn't feel right about where to go. Nothing settled with me. Did I hear an audible voice telling me not to go to UK or UL? Nope. I was just indecisive. So I prayed that God would open the doors He wanted me to go thru. Two weeks later, BJ called me about moving here. Now I knew it was God. Hardest thing I ever did in my life. I was alone away from family. I had no friends. But I prayed and God told me...like I heard Him say, "When you plant a seed, it goes in the ground and when you cover it up with dirt, you don't see anything. But it will grow and bloom into something beautiful. But before you even see that, it has to be planted in the right spot. I just put you where you need to be in the ground. Wait for it. This is where you need to grow." True story. That alone kept me here for quite a while. One word. And I made some friends. It got better. And then out of nowhere, although I'd seen Travis, I suddenly took NOTE of him...and something in me....I just knew, I was going to marry him. Call it what you will. But my relationship with God led me to all these things. And when you know His voice and learn to listen, He will never steer you wrong. If I were you, I'd trust that feeling. Not what YOU want...but "your gut," as they call it. I personally can tend to chalk it up to myself, but that's the Holy Spirit. He sounds like YOU. You won't always be in the places that you thought you'd be, or even where you want to be, and it won't be without pain always...but it's where you're supposed to be, allowing you to get to the next place. And in spite of all of that, trust me, THAT is where you want to be--right in His will. I hope this helps some!

Thrive

It's that time of year again for all Word Alivers (or those that choose to participate): Thrive! I have to admit...I didn't want anything to do with it. I felt weak. I had memories of last year that I didn't care to re-live, but here I am again on Day 3 in full "thrivin'" mode. If you don't know, this is where we do a Daniel Fast for 21 days. Three weeks. Too many hours. I'm in definite sugar detox mode right now. I've had a lingering headache since right about mid-song set during the 2nd service. Do you know why almost everything contains sugar (which is forbidden on this, except in the form of fruit)??? Because without it, things SUCK. I can live without meat, bread, butter, milk, all that stuff...but for the love, I really depend on sugar. My body hates me right now for not having any. SO..this is probably a good thing for me. Again. I'm definitely in a different place this year. A lot of people that I know who participated last year aren't really doing it this year. Like Travis. :) He says he is "going to try." Translated: He will do it in front of me.

Some of my favorite girls in our trendy shirts. Thank GOD they got black this year. Lori didn't like this picture because she was mid-laugh.

They liked this one, but I don't because I look like the fattest one in the group. So I compromised and put both up.

Back in the kitchen...Steve is more vain than Jen and I put together. Jennifer didn't like this one.

They both looked awkward in this one.

So I just decided to get my lazy tail off the island, which made for a much better picture. These two are my favorites!

The church's chef, Chef Jeff, is making Daniel Fast friendly meals, so I was set on Sunday. However, I am no chef, and I find myself eating what I can grab: raw carrots, raisins, grapes. It makes for a rough start for a girl who is a frequent Chick-Fil-A flyer. I will get through this though and be better for it. And I can only hope to God that I feel better about it all and more adjusted before it's over. Like headache free by tomorrow.

Dance Picture Day

Yesterday was a day that I do not look forward to: dance pictures. It's just a lot of work to get Sage's hair done, makeup done, make sure I have all her shoes, tights and costume pieces (she is in THREE classes this year). She likes pictures, but they decided to do it on what would turn out to be the most inconvenient time for ME. The nerve, right? It wasn't a huge deal, but out of all the weekends in March, they choose a Sunday that I'm singing and where my usual help in these cases is 15 hours away. We made it though. My mother-in-law arrived to my house to watch Jaggar about 15 minutes after I got home from church. I ordered and paid for food for all us from the cafe' at church that morning to be picked up for when I was leaving. Pictures were at 1:00; I left church at noon. We had about 30 minutes to get ready before we had to leave, but it worked out. I have to say that the girls are definitely getting older because what used to be a nightmare went really smooth yesterday. Surprisingly smooth. So smooth we got done AHEAD of the scheduled time.

How cute is she for tap? I love her costumes this year, and out of 4 years, this is definitely one of my favorites. Her's too.
Group picture. Sage is on the lower right.

Ready for her ballet individual shot. LOVE this costume, too. Why? Because it has the perfect tutu.

And she loves the crown. They are dancing to "I've got a dream" from Tangled.

Ballet group shot. Sage is front and center, exactly how she likes it.

And here's some hip hop group shots. I'm not sure about that visor upside-down, but whatever. Some moms were complaining that we weren't doing a side ponytail. I said, "Honestly, I couldn't care less because it makes my life easier not having to redo anything more than I already have to." Fact.

This is a HUGE class. Sage is on the lower right again. Busy day and SO glad it's over! I'll post her actual pictures when I get them back.

Clean Bill of Health

I'd mentioned that I just didn't feel right about Jaggar's ears. When he had strep in January, his doctor said that she didn't know if the ear was infected or if it was just red where the tube came out. When he went to Cares screaming about his ear hurting, that doctor said something similar about the ear that wasn't hurting--it was red. Soo...I'm like, "Okay is this an infection (which I believe he had) that is still lingering or is he having some issues from the tubes?" Because he did have a hole where the tube was that had yet to close. I had to have mine surgically closed, and I can still remember throwing up in recovery. But prior to that and even now, I have a lot of problems with my ears. Frankly, I was just tired and wanted an answer as to why his sleep habits are still out of sorts. REALLY TIRED. SO, I called his ENT who did the surgery. They are a wonderful husband and wife team, and they could see him that day--which was Friday. I just wanted peace of mind to know if he was in pain or formed some bad sleep habits through this time. Unfortunately, this doctor is in Homewood. Even more unfortunately, Travis was and has been out of town for what feels like eternity. So...I didn't feel okay about going that far and leaving Sage at school, even though I had time to get back. I couldn't risk traffic or a wreck or SOMETHING that could keep me from getting her because no one else could. Sooo...she missed the leprechaun. We still have yet to make up for this. I felt terrible. Still do.

Here they are in the doctor's office. Thankfully, Chrissie lives across the street and came to get Sage so she could play with her kiddos before they headed to the beach with Chrissie's mom for spring break. Anyway, I'm pleased and relieved to say that Jaggar's ears looked great. I wanted someone to tell me that who knows what they're talking about. With what we went through 2 years ago (in just a few days), I can go to the paranoia side really fast. So his ears are great. JAGGAR is great. He's just being...a terrible sleeper.

So after the doctor's office, we went to Chrissie's because Jaggar loves "Hah-nan," as he sweetly calls Holland. Believe it or not, I got this picture on the first try. Amazing. And how adorable?

And these two cuties are definitely best friends, too. Poor Harrison is kind of the odd one out these days.

Look at baby Iris! She loves chocolate just like me! Unlike me, she can carry that extra weight it brings so well.

We did some shopping and at the Summit that afternoon. It was gorgeous outside, and Sean was extremely helpful to me with my kids (since his older ones were gone). GREATLY appreciated. I am counting down the hours until Travis is back because I make a terrible single parent.