What an odd week it has been. The rain washes away my motivation, and we have had a LOT of rain lately. Thankfully, the sun came out today, AND tomorrow is Friday, thank God. I have read and RE-read my "Letting Go" blog. While I KNOW it's right, I guess I forgot to mention that it is a very daily process. Hourly. By the minute. It's a painful process at times, but I will get there. I'm not surprised that I feel this way, but I guess I was hoping I'd be pleasantly surprised that I WOULDN'T. However, I find that I feel closest to God when I'm in the midst of pain...or He is closest to ME. He reveals Himself in ways that I don't pay attention to when all is how I want it to be.
I read something the other day how pain produces passion. The most moving songs and stories were usually written under circumstances of tragedy. We love to reap those benefits, don't we? But no one wants to do the sowing. "It is Well with My Soul" was written by a man after all his kids were killed! I mean, my God! And my number one, John Mayer? Pretty much ALL of his songs are written under sad circumstances. Pain is what people relate to, and they're looking for any kind of salve to put in an open wound. This is not the easiest place to be in my life. I've got some questions and not a lot of answers. But I find myself to be more open, more willing to take risks, as CLEARLY evidenced by my latest writings.
But maybe I'm just mentally preparing myself because I'm taking a BIG risk very soon. When I said that I was ready to change my life, I MEANT that. When I said that I've got definite times and appointments, I wasn't just writing something that sounded good. I'm literally getting ready to do something that I believe is divine and is literally going to throw doors open in my life and everyone's life that it touches. I won't say just yet...because honestly? I don't KNOW how it will go, but I've got a pretty good feeling. Because if you would've told me just 4 or 5 weeks ago that I'd be arranging what I HAVE arranged, I'd have said you were crazy. I feel like some sad circumstances (mine and those of others that I've only listened to) have catapulted me into a crucial moment to break some strongholds because I don't even recognize myself, and THAT is a good thing.
I was rocking Jaggar today and thanked God for the pain in my life. Sounds cheesy, doesn't it? But I meant it. I remembered something I read, "I wish you all the happiness in the world but just enough sadness to know the difference." I prayed that God would keep me in this place--a place of gratitude and dependance on Him. I don't like my attitude when I get too comfortable. I'm not that likeable. Pray that the limb I'm going out on doesn't snap beneath me!
I'll end with these lyrics I just saw--yet more confirmation that I'm exactly where I need to be! And oh my goodness, it just hit me AGAIN--letting go. Wow.
I tried so hard to keep hanging on
Well maybe you should just let it go
Let the hope in your heart break the fall
....I truly believe it will.
And I'm doing just that. Here goes...
I read something the other day how pain produces passion. The most moving songs and stories were usually written under circumstances of tragedy. We love to reap those benefits, don't we? But no one wants to do the sowing. "It is Well with My Soul" was written by a man after all his kids were killed! I mean, my God! And my number one, John Mayer? Pretty much ALL of his songs are written under sad circumstances. Pain is what people relate to, and they're looking for any kind of salve to put in an open wound. This is not the easiest place to be in my life. I've got some questions and not a lot of answers. But I find myself to be more open, more willing to take risks, as CLEARLY evidenced by my latest writings.
But maybe I'm just mentally preparing myself because I'm taking a BIG risk very soon. When I said that I was ready to change my life, I MEANT that. When I said that I've got definite times and appointments, I wasn't just writing something that sounded good. I'm literally getting ready to do something that I believe is divine and is literally going to throw doors open in my life and everyone's life that it touches. I won't say just yet...because honestly? I don't KNOW how it will go, but I've got a pretty good feeling. Because if you would've told me just 4 or 5 weeks ago that I'd be arranging what I HAVE arranged, I'd have said you were crazy. I feel like some sad circumstances (mine and those of others that I've only listened to) have catapulted me into a crucial moment to break some strongholds because I don't even recognize myself, and THAT is a good thing.
I was rocking Jaggar today and thanked God for the pain in my life. Sounds cheesy, doesn't it? But I meant it. I remembered something I read, "I wish you all the happiness in the world but just enough sadness to know the difference." I prayed that God would keep me in this place--a place of gratitude and dependance on Him. I don't like my attitude when I get too comfortable. I'm not that likeable. Pray that the limb I'm going out on doesn't snap beneath me!
I'll end with these lyrics I just saw--yet more confirmation that I'm exactly where I need to be! And oh my goodness, it just hit me AGAIN--letting go. Wow.
I tried so hard to keep hanging on
Well maybe you should just let it go
Let the hope in your heart break the fall
....I truly believe it will.
And I'm doing just that. Here goes...
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