Happy Halloween

From my little pirates.  I have 2 very excited kiddos for tonight.  When I went to wake Sage this morning, she threw the covers that were covering her face and said, "BOO!"  She said that she never went to sleep all night. :)  She's currently about to have a Halloween party at school, and she was so excited.  Jaggar knew from the beginning that he wanted to be a pirate.  That was simple enough.  Sage wanted to be a flapper dancer.  I've seen this costume every single year at Target, and of course, the year we needed it?  It was nonexistent.  So, 3 days before Halloween we went to the party store and she decided it'd be fun to match Jaggar.  There was benefit in waiting until the last minute because we got 40% off the costume, which was overpriced to start with.  I think together they look pretty cute. 

 Jaggar refuses to hold his sword correctly.

33 1/2 weeks checkup

I had my 2nd to last 2 week appointment yesterday with Dr. Collins.  I thought that baby felt bigger, but apparently that's just me.  And I mean literally.  Me.  I will have gained more weight this pregnancy than either of my previous 2.   I gained 3 lbs in just 2 weeks, which was shocking.  Especially considering one of those weeks, I was sick as a dog.  What a burn.  I hate this last part, especially this time, as I'm literally seeing the pounds pile on.  Dr Collins said, "Do you think you're NOT supposed to be gaining weight right now?" Granted, I was really small when I started, but I'd hoped that would work in my favor...but apparently your body is just destined to get to a certain place no matter what.  That's what I tell myself. I also told Dr Collins we needed to talk about an induction after all of that.  I thought I'd only gained...(ONLY gained, ha) 19 lbs, but he corrected me and said 22.  OMG.  I could have died.  I gained 23 with Sage and 18 with Jaggar.  With 6-7 weeks left and averaging at 2-3 lbs a week lately, I think it's safe to say I'll surpass that.  I told him I don't want to look like Jessica Simpson, which he laughed and said not even close.  But when I said let's induce, he said, "Not many people are ready at 33 weeks, but we'll talk again at 39."  :)

I took Jaggar with me because Travis had to work, but Jaggar was great.  He did say that he was NOT going but after Dr Collins gave him a tootsie roll pop, he said, "I wish I could go back to the dr."  If he ever goes back with me, he will be asking for a sucker every time.  They are going to do another ultrasound because even with 22 lbs added, I'm still measuring very small.  He ends up doing this with every pregnancy I have because it always ends up like this at the end.  I think the best part of the appointment, though, was I had been meaning to ask him about a regular dr I could use.  Recommendations. It's always depressing to end care with him because I like him and trust him and then have the only option being Cares, so I thought I should ask who he'd suggest.  I was super excited when he said, "Me."  I said, "I love using you, but I can't come in here if I have strep."  He said, "Yeah you can.  Call me."  I was like, "When I was pregnant with my son, I thought I had strep and they said I'd need to see my regular doctor."  He said, "Who are you going to listen to? Them or me?  You need me, call.  I'm an RD, too.  Regular doctor.  I went to the same school they did.  I don't do that for everyone, but I will for you.  Because you're not crazy.  I'd be glad to take care of you."  I'd like it in writing that I'm not crazy.  ;) but yay for that.  That's a problem solved that I've had for years.

Sage is so excited about this baby, but even she is starting to ask his name.  I'm really trying to find one.  I think part of the problem is that I'm asking Travis, and I've never done that.  He said we should just start calling Jaggar by different names and see what we like.  Considering he ignores us even when we say "Jaggar," that wouldn't be a huge issue.  I even asked Jaggar what the name should be.  His answer?  Shark.  Shark Spence.  Has a nice flow, don't you think?

I will say on this day, Sunday, we went to eat at China Luck.  We go there pretty often on Sundays.  And that's pretty much because it's the only place I'm willing to pay for for one meal anymore.  So they know us pretty well in there, and when we were done, the waitress came over to me and said, "How was everything?"  It was just me the kids sitting there because Travis had gone to pay, and I said, "Great."  Then she said, "You gain weight."  ????  *cricket, cricket*  She repeated it.  I said, "Well, I'm having a baby.  In like 6  1/2 weeks."  I'm not sure it even registered with her.  You'd think the desire of a tip would register, but apparently not.  :)  People never cease to amaze me really.  EVER.

Looking back at this from when I first found out I was pregnant...I can see that 22 lbs now.  And apparently, so can China Luck lol.

Pumpkin Carving

Well, we finally got our pumpkins carved just 3 days before Halloween.  With it being in the high 80s consistently until Saturday, it's probably best that we waited.  Or just hadn't made the time to do it is more accurate.  I still remember being a child and looking forward to carving our pumpkin.  I think my kids enjoy it even more.  Jaggar is really old enough to enjoy everything now and remember it.  He is still talking about the polar bear at the zoo from fall break.  I couldn't wait to see his face when we opened the pumpkins.

Ready to see what's inside.  (Yes, my kitchen did get a major makeover...which I plan to cover in a post of its own...eventually.)

 Look at those faces.  That's a green light to make a pure mess.  They love it.

 I still love the smell of the inside of a pumpkin.

 We separated the seeds for baking as I always do.  Sage was particularly excited because this is a "free" snack for her.  But BOTH kids just loved them.  They did turn out really good this year, minus burning a good 2 inches of my thumb on the oven wrack. 

 Cute

 Sage was making a funny face, she said.  It is definitely pretend disgust for her because she practically bathes up to her shoulders in pumpkin guts.

 This is my white pumpkin!  Neither child had any interest in it when we picked them, but I loved it.  It's so different.

But it's still totally orange inside.

We clean; Travis carves.  We have a pumpkin carving "kit" that I bought at Hobby Lobby years ago.  I really just got it for the tools that it came with, but Travis thought that we had to do some of the stencils.  I told him that it didn't matter to me, and he could do a typical jack-o-lantern face on the white one.  We always do the silly one in the middle, which was Jaggar's.  He was happy with anything.  But Sage...she chose this crazy haunted house thing that was really difficult.  At the last minute, she decided she didn't want that.  So with some googling and studying, Travis decided on Hello Kitty for her.  I think he did a really good job on it.  Sage was very pleased.

Baby Belly

I feel like baby has either turned around or tripled in size in the past few weeks.  There have been recent days that I've been like, "GET THIS KID OUT."  I feel like my esophagus may get a hole in it from all of the heartburn that I've had.  It's terrible.  I ran out of tums on Friday and demanded that we go to Walmart before we went to our friends' house for the evening.  I opened the bottle and took a few out while we picked up a few more things before we checked out, and Travis goes, "Don't do that!  That's by weight."  I said, "I DARE someone to confront me on it."  No one would be that stupid.  7 weeks feels like a really long time at this point.  I dream of the day that he is born and all of these symptoms instantly leave, but even then, I'll probably look back and sigh with how nice it was.  Maybe.  :)

 My belly button is now deformed, but thankfully not inside out.

Full Moon Farm

On their last weekend for this season, I took the kids to Full Moon Farm yesterday.  I can't tell you how much I wished that I'd taken them on ANY prior weekend.  The weather went from being hot to being winter.  And that's coming from someone who likes cool weather.  But the sun never came out yesterday.  I was stupid enough to mention it to Sage without looking at the weather, so I pretty much sealed the deal before the day even arrived.  The problem wasn't so much the temperature as it was that the sun never came out.  So it made the day feel that much colder along with the wind.  The kids were cold, but they didn't let it stop them from having fun.  We did last about 2  1/2 hours until the sun was going completely down, so it was good.  Next year, I won't make the mistake of letting fall creep in on us before we make our visit here.

There are lots of cute photo opps here, and this is one of my faves.

 Sage then realized that was a seat behind her.  Thankfully, Jaggar never realized it.

 Playing in the corn box

 Going through the corn maze

 I wished I'd had them turn around in this because it's such an awesome picture, but oh well.

 This was their favorite part:  riding the pumpkin express.  Though it looks like a carrot to me.  It went really fast, and I could see them laughing while their heads were being whipped back.

 Down the roller slide

 Jaggar preferred the huge inflatable slide, but it was hard to get a picture on that.  I could take a picture now of the burns on his face where he flung himself and flipped face first down it, causing "rug burns" on his head and under his eye.  But that was totally his fault, and I expect nothing less from him.  PS:  Yes, I did put a Christmas background up.  I hate Halloween this year.  I can't wait for it to be over.  Sooo, I'm moving on in every way that I can.

Jaggar's 3 year (and 5 month) Check Up

Obviously, there is a schedule for well check ups for children.  At this age, it's on, shortly before, or shortly after their birthdays.  I am behind clearly. 

I was behind with Sage, too.  I intended to take them BOTH before we went to the beach in July.  Then I ended up just taking Sage for her "well check up" as soon as we got back from the beach.  Then we were sent to the hospital, and life as we knew it stopped.  It's been just a few days over 3 months since that day, but it feels like a lifetime ago.

But I couldn't neglect the fact that Jaggar needed his 3 year old check up.  So, I finally just picked up the phone and called them on Monday.  They scheduled it for Thursday morning.  On Wednesday night, a flood of emotions came over me.  The last time we casually went, we went straight to the ER.  It's still difficult for me to process.  It still feels like an open wound to me.  It's not like a funeral that was really sad at the time, but as life goes on, you look back and just remember it.  It's still very painful to think of.  So, for me, going back there, even though I love that office and am so glad we use our dr there, it felt like going back to the scene of a fatal car wreck for the first time since the accident.  I remembered everything about that day.  Assuring my child that nothing bad would happen...and proving to be wrong.  Jaggar, of course, was just happy to see the fish once we were there.

We didn't wait long.  I thanked God that they didn't put us in the same room or even remotely close to the room we'd been in that day with Sage.  It was actually a room I've never been in, which was even better.  The dr came in and was so glad to see us.  She, of course, asked about Sage and we talked about how much it all...sucks.  She said she was so devastated to see that reading that day.  I now know why.  I wanted assurance that Jaggar was okay.  I don't know why.  I just...I thought Sage was.  So I felt like I questioned everything.  He was 3'3" tall, which put him in the 97th percentile for height, and he weighed 33lbs, putting him in the 76th percentile for weight.  I thought that was GREAT.  He weighed just 6 lbs less than Sage did 3 months ago at 7 years old.  She said she'd like to see him be about 4 lbs heavier, but good grief, I think 76th percentile is awesome.  Sage was always way below the 50th.  But we are small people.  Travis weighed 140lbs as a senior.  I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant and still smaller than most.  So, she wasn't concerned at all about it.  Jaggar has gained 5 lbs since January alone.  So, that's wonderful.  Sage hadn't gained any weight in a year.

Then, I asked about blood sugar.  She said that I could periodically test him at home, but I wanted nothing to do with it.  I'd thought about it several times those first few days and weeks we were home.  I even tried to talk him into it...but I just couldn't.  I didn't want to bring that in our home anymore than it already was.  So she offered, and I accepted.  Of course, he cried.  I watched that meter flashing while it read for what seemed like eternity.  95 came up.  I knew it was good, but I still had to ask.  She came back in, smiling and said everything was great, especially after him being sick (he had an ear infection where he finally lost his other tube...you know the ones he never needed from 10 months old...and had gotten water in it the other night, which was excruciating for him since there's still a hole there).  It was a relief.  I'm not going to live my life in fear.  I have to remind myself that this isn't medical as much as it is spiritual, but I do have to have a balance in both right now.  I can't NOT give Sage insulin in faith.  That's stupidity.  But what I can do is maintain my mental stability with the truth of God's word.  TD Jakes posted this today, and I found it fitting.

God’s Word prevails! The obstacles of past scars (wounds) can be overcome by present truths. Your deliverance will not start in your circumstances; it will always evolve out of your mentality.

So important.  I'm thankful for a growing, healthy boy in Jaggar and am glad that that will only continue.  I'm sure of it.

30

It's true.  I turned 30 yesterday, October 23rd.  Do I look different?  :)

I certainly didn't feel any different.  I've known a lot of people that have simply freaked out over turning 30.  Honestly?  It didn't bother me a bit.  Now had things in our lives not taken the turn that they had the past few months, I may have actually felt a little weird about it.  But turning 30 is truly the very least of my problems.  And even if things hadn't gone the way that they did, I don't know for sure that I would've been a whole lot different than I was:  pretty nonchalant.  Here's a few reasons why.  

At 30:

I have been married almost 9  1/2 years and been with Travis for over 10.

I have 2 beautiful children with another on the way.

We have a nice home that I really like.

I have genuine friends that I have been privileged to share my life with.

I have no divorces, drug addictions, abortions, or separations under my belt.  I don't say that being funny.  But at my age, I do see some of the craziness that people live in who are not any older and sometimes even younger than me:  lives literally wrecked with some of these things...and I've thankfully not been there.

I certainly don't know it all, but I've definitely learned a few things in my 20s:

  I've learned a lot about money and what is really unimportant.  I confess I have a pair of $300+ sunglasses.  They scratched just like a pair of $20 ones.  If they make it in generic brand, I'm probably going to buy it.  Target clothes and shoes are great.  I don't need excess.  Just enough.  I've carried the same purse for over a year now, a tad stained with bleach and all...although that metallic $200 Michael Kors purse at TJ Maxx did call my name a few days ago.  I smiled, sighed and kept going.  I will always get my hair colored.  That's not going to change.  Roots are bad.  Boxed color is even worse.  Sacrifice on other things is worth it to keep that up.  The best things in life aren't things.  Take care of the friends you have.  They are precious and rare and valuable.  I really try to do that.  I hope they can see that.  Don't worry about the people that aren't the friends you thought they were.  Love them, of course.  But don't be bitter towards them.  Forgive.  Forgive.  Forgive.  At their core, I think everyone really wants to be good.  Accept them at that even if you don't agree with them.  Children are the most precious gift in the world.  My children.  MINE.  If anyone or anything messes with them, it's gonna get ugly.  Spiritually, it has.  I'll never give up on that.  Or them.  They are my legacy.  They are my heart.  Even in our biggest disagreements and annoyances, I'd rather spend my life with Travis than anyone else.  He made my birthday special.  And my life.

So as for the specifics of yesterday, it was like this.  I needed groceries.  Exciting, I know.  But my best sweet tooth partner and I decided to stop and get a cupcake on our way to run errands.  He very randomly chose lemon.

 When Travis got home from work, he had picked up Sage and had my gifts.  I couldn't think of much I wanted that could be bought.  So he got me diamond earrings and these freshwater pearls on a leather necklace.  I was really surprised and pleased.  Both are beautiful.

 He'd also called several of our friends to go out to dinner at Yume.  Ideally, it would have been a surprise, but that just really wasn't possible.  A Tuesday night.  My birthday.  We never go out to eat, except maybe on Sundays, but that was okay.  If I look descent on any other day but...maybe a Sunday, there needs to be a reason.  It was so nice to be able to see my friends.  Jaggar wore this helmet before we left.  I don't know why.

 Little Sage.  My little socialite was so excited.  This was a different pace for us to get off our schedule with her, but it was fine.  She took 3 shots at the restaurant and never complained.  I believe God sees her positive attitude and hopefully it overrides my not always so positive one.

 I think that this is the only picture of me and Travis.  A crappy iphone pic in bad lighting. 

 All of my one day shy of 33 weeks of pregnancy glory. 

 My friend, Jill, was unable to make it to the restaurant, so she'd sent flowers that were waiting on me when we got there.  I can't tell you how much I love orange, so these were perfect.  So sweet of her.

 I didn't expect anyone to bring gifts.  It just wasn't necessary, but several did.  Jennifer got me that pretty pink and white glass bead for my pandora bracelet.  I'd just gotten a new pink leather bracelet from my mom so this was perfect because I had planned to do the bracelet in...pink and white!

Here are (a lot of) better pictures from Travis' camera from the restaurant.  Love my friends.  Notice Nick's (Dave's) face of disgust.  He was sad he couldn't sit by me.

Emily, Angelle and Taylor

Nick and Kirk

Jaggar, Lydia and Sage.  Both of my kids were SO thrilled that she was there and fought to sit next to her.  Jaggar claims Sage's friends for his own and is very offended if anyone tries to contradict that.

Wade and Suzanne

Jennifer and Elli

Pretty Davis Family

Luke and Heather

I never order off the hibachi menu, but it does make for a good show, so I'm glad most people do. 

This was Nick's favorite part.  Nick recently set himself on fire.  Literally.  He's okay thankfully, but I can't not rag him on it.  I wouldn't expect anything less from him.  He told me that he knew he should have let me die the day I passed out and fell on my face lol.  Glad he didn't.  I would hate to have missed the opportunity to make fun of him for setting himself ablaze. 

Rhenda and Parker.  Parker is just a few months older than Jaggar.  She is such a good little girl and so calm and still.  Like Jaggar is not.

My food.  Which I did not eat all of because I couldn't, but they had 1/2 price sushi so I had to try it all.

After we'd finished eating, they brought out the cake with 30 candles on it.  Literally.  Thank you, Travis.

Then they do this Japanese thing with a drum.  It's pretty embarrassing.

And they make you wear this lovely get up and sing to you in Japanese.  Then they take your picture for their main wall in the lobby.  I told them that I wanted mine in an 8x10.  I will autograph it when it is printed.

I have to confess that it took a bit of work to extinguish all of those flames.

 

They also brought out the swan made of fruit.  The fruit is SO good.  I didn't even eat a piece of cake because the fruit was it for me.

Then they said they were going to play something else and clap and I had to dance.  Well....OKAY.  If you say so.  That's the reason everyone is laughing.  A lot.

I'm not scared.

They wanted their ensemble back.  That was fine by me.  It was too concealing.

The kids had an absolute blast.

A group shot minus Rhenda.  I am really blessed to have such wonderful friends in my life. I had a wonderful birthday.  I realized how much I really NEEDED to go out with these people.  It had been a really long time for me.  I appreciate everyone who came so much and to Travis for putting it all together.  The 30s are going to be my best yet.