The Last Night of Two

Tuesday, December 4th, was really my last day of life like I knew it.  We would go to the hospital that night at midnight to begin induction.  Jaggar came into my room early that morning, and he laid beside me.  I was so glad for that, not that he couldn't do it again, but things would definitely be different.  I, of course, felt like I had to finish up the rest of the year's business that day, which was impossible.  We had been frantically trying to teach Mom how to care for Sage, and it was scary.  She was nervous.  I was definitely nervous.  But after a few days, I felt like she could do it.  Because she had to and there was no sense in making myself sick over it.  I had a final OB appointment at 2:15 that afternoon that I kept forgetting about.  Mom and Mema offered to take me to Classic on Noble for lunch that afternoon, which I gladly accepted.  It was so nice and beautifully decorated for Christmas.  Christmas.  I wasn't ready for that.  It didn't feel like it was even Christmastime!  I walked past my reflection and thought about how this was my last day of pregnancy.  I thought that I had worn it well.  People still couldn't believe that I was at the END of it.  

When I did go to the doctor after lunch, I got my final pregnancy poundage added up:  26 lbs.  As much as I freaked out about the adding numbers in the weeks before, at that point, I thought, "Not too bad when you consider all that's in there."  I was good with it.  Then I went to see Dr Collins.  This was where we would see exactly where we were at and estimate an ETA of baby.  And the verdict?  MAYBE a centimeter.  But zero effacement.  And then, while checking that, he says, "Hang on just a sec."  Enter screams from me.  "Sorry!  Sorry.  Hang on!.....Annnd there."  "WHAT are you doing???"  "Sorry. That is called sweeping the membranes."  "Well, could you have WARNED Me that you were doing that?  My GOD!"  "So sorry."  He's holding my hand as I'm sweating thinking I may pass out or throw up.  I said, "Um you shouldn't just DO that."  So sorry. he says, "but that should speed things up some.  Otherwise we'd be in for another 6pm like the last time."  Um I MAY have been okay with that. I said, "Do you have any idea what that feels like?"  He laughed, "Yeah, I do."  Um...really?  No uterus, no opinion, baby.   Here is what sweeping the membranes is.  I honestly laughed at that definition.  The words "gently" and "easily" belong nowhere in that description, I'll tell you that.  After apologizing again and again and fanning me, he said that he'd see me in the morning, and we should expect a baby sometime after lunch.  I asked if my water was going to break on its own now and if I'd have a baby by midnight.  Very doubtful, he laughed.  But after that visit, contractions did start.  And they were there throughout the evening of me trying to get ready and enjoy my children.  I was still so upset that he'd just done that without asking or telling because it put a cramp (literally) in my style for the rest of the day.  And I was like, "Am I going in labor?"  I had no idea, but I really didn't have time to do anything other than what I was already doing.  I did finish getting ready and packing by about 10 that night.  Then I decided I'd lay on the couch to see exactly how close the contractions were.  I figured since I was capable that I didn't have to fly to the hospital.  I really just didn't know.

Here's the kids before they went to bed and after they'd done their Christmas presents from grandparents.

 Notice Jaggar's zoo on top of his bookcase.  That's not even half of those animals either.

 This is for Elizabeth to show that I, too, can mess up a picture.

 I didn't find myself to be as emotional as I was when I went to have Jaggar, and that's prob because I was miserable.  The only thing I decided to do was wait a few more hours.

Last But Not Least

It's a rare thing for Travis to be in photos, but it happened, and I think they turned out nice.  He hates this first one as much as I hate the "Christmas card."  He said it was like a cheesy middle school dance picture.  I had to laugh.

 Then we asked Jaggar to come take another family picture...aaaanddd this is what he did.  What can you do?  lol.  He is the laughter in our home for sure.

 Meanwhile...

 Nice family shot.

 I know these are our last pictures before baby makes his debut.  When I woke up this morning, I thought about tonight being the last night that I will lay in my bed and go to sleep pregnant with life being as I know it.  With the 2 kids that I would give my life for.  It was a weird feeling.  I feel like there is more that I should do to make the most of the moment.  One being Christmas shop more!  I feel like I want it to be a little further away.  But ready or not, he is coming, and in spite of all the weird but very normal feelings, I can't wait to see him and share him with the world.  Because I know he's going to be just as wonderful as the 2 that I try to give you a glimpse of their greatness on here.

More Pregnancy Pics

I don't know if it's because I never carry anything other than my phone with me lately to take pictures or the fact that Travis is just an amazing photographer, but I really think all of these pictures are really good.  And it's not me, though I do have a way with the camera (lol, just kidding), but I can try to take pics like this with his camera and it's not JUST the camera.  It's definitely the photographer as well.  I'm not it.  I'm better in FRONT of it.  ;)

One day I'll look back and think..."Aww, that pregnant belly."  But I'm in the uncomfortable stage.  It's not so much that I feel huge.  I don't.  It's the heartburn.  It's the way he can move that shoots pains down my lower back.  It's the numbing/stiff feeling I get in my right leg EVERY time I get those braxton hicks contractions.  I think those may even be more appealing than sleepless nights though.  I'll let you know.

 Travis said that he must have moved in this one because he said, "THERE'S your belly.  It's like out there now."  Sometimes I feel like he moved because there are times I feel bigger.

 Travis started to get more creative.

 Then he had issues with the shirt I was wearing.  He said, "You're the sparkly shirt girl.  Why on earth are you wearing gray?"  Well...frankly it's because what I was told to sing in that morning, but my sparkly shirts don't fit.  But he said, 'Just go put on an orange sparkly shirt.'  I wasn't too pleased.  It was too short, but he said it looked better.  Unfortunately the poses he thought were great here cast a shadow on my face and he didn't use any of them.  But here was one. 

 He wanted to do this again because he said the shirt made my stomach look more pregnant because it was tighter.

Pretty Kiddos

It was also a good opportunity to take some pictures of the beautiful children that we have.  Jaggar, of course, was not in the mood.  This was, "Jaggar, smile."

 And this was, "Jaggar, don't smile."

 Beautiful

 I swear he could be a model.

 Such a good looking boy

 He wouldn't sit with me...sooo.  It did turn out cute.

 And then there's this one.

 I had to bribe him.

 She still remembers my pregnancy pics with Jaggar, so she was so excited to do this.  Sweet girl.

 Love this one.  Looks like a little model, too.  It's no wonder she got class cutie, best dressed and best smile (I think?) in first grade last year.  This is one of my favorites of her.  Such a beauty and that's really inside and out.

Baby on the Way

It's official.  Baby is making his debut in just a few days.  And see that milk expiration date?  He will be born the day before that:  December 5th.  That's the official sign that pregnancy is coming to an end:  when the milk expiration is after you'll give birth.

  I had my weekly doctor's appointment on Monday.  The last time I was there, all dates that I could induce were booked, and Dr Collins was going out of town the 6th-9th.  This time, I asked him how it booked up like that, and he said that I could have picked a date on my first appointment if I'd wanted.  Um...would've been nice to know.  I don't know if I could've done that almost a year in advance though really.  Anyway, still not a lot of progress going on, and he said, "You've got time.  There's still some weeks left before your due date."  Yes.  Yes there are.  Fantastic.  And then he smiled and said,  "You know, some of those women that booked the hospital up had their babies, so if you want, let's call over and see if we can get you in."  His nurse called and gave them my name and at first they said no, but he said, "Oh, no, we put her down.  Look again.." and there I was.  He hi-fived me and said, "See, I told you all those years of being good would pay off."  So I will go back to see him one more time before that on Tuesday afternoon and at midnight that night, which will turn to Wednesday, they'll start the induction process.  I walked out in kind of a daze knowing an exact date.  I almost even thought of calling back and saying, "No...change it to my due date, the 12th.  Or better yet, March."  I'm not scared of labor or delivery even. It's the life changing part of it.  How will Jaggar be?  He's still completely uninterested.  Sage is over the moon excited.  What will our lives be like now?  I will really miss sleeping.  How long will it be before I sleep again?  I'm scared of life as I know it being over.  But then...on the other hand, I'm excited.  In spite of the trauma of life trying to overshadow this little baby boy, he has made himself KNOWN with kicks and squirms and it really started when I was in the hospital with Sage.  Almost like he's saying, "Hey, the plan hasn't changed!  I'm still on the way.  The promise is still on the way."  

I read the most accurate description that I believe I've ever heard of a new baby from someone I have looked up to greatly for years, Donna Byrd, on her hours old first grandchild.

Children come to us, their spirits straight from heaven, still remembering the sights, smells and tastes of heaven. They have been fully equipped to master their destinies on earth. Our prayers should be that they never forget what their callings were and to confidently pursue their destinies they were sent to earth with no doubts.

I teared up when I read it.  It feels almost selfish to tear them away from paradise.  And yet they come to us.  Fully dependent on us but knowing and experiencing more in their first few breaths than we have in our lives on earth.  What a gift.  A real Christmas gift.  I look forward to meeting him.  Holding him.  Smelling him.  Kissing him.  Watching my other 2 with him.  And seeing how he makes his place within our family.  He is wanted.  He is loved.  And...he is named. 

His seat is loaded and ready to go.  Jaggar says he is not sitting next to him.
 

 And his bags are packed.  I should probably pack my own now.

Full Term

It's official.  I don't know how it happened so fast, but I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy.  I am officially full term, 37 weeks, as of yesterday.  It really doesn't seem real, and I have a hard time processing that we will have 3 kids before we really know it.

I went to the doctor for my first weekly appointment yesterday.  It started off great when another girl in the waiting room couldn't believe we were as far along as each other and told me that I looked like a Barbie doll.  :) Anyway, I am not at all surprised to say that nothing has happened as far as dilation goes even though I've had some killer contractions.  This is just more evidence that I will never do natural labor.  Ever.  I was a little surprised that I'd lost 2 lbs, but with Thanksgiving being today (another post to come), I'm sure that is now cancelled, but it was nice to have not gained 2 or 3 like every other time.  Baby is head down, which is good.  But I only measured 34 weeks.  I've been measuring too small for a while now, so this is where that becomes a concern.  But not really because it happens every pregnancy for me.  He just says I'm a small person with a small frame and I'm not going to have a huge baby, but he still has to check and make SURE baby is growing correctly via ultrasound.  The other reason we did this is because...and here's the clincher...the hospital is basically booked for the first 2 weeks of December.  And Dr Collins is looking for a reason to trump someone else so that I can get in.  Had the ultrasound showed that the baby was less than 10%, he would have done it like now, because that shows baby isn't growing like he should be.  But he measured just fine--6 lbs or so--and actually 2 days ahead of his 12/12/12 due date.  So he told me not to panic and that we'd find a way in.  That was just where he was starting.  He called the hospital and put me down as an alternate on a few different days, whatever that means,.  But Dr Collins is also going out of town from the 6th through the 9th, so there's another issue.  I don't really want to go into labor.  I never have, but right now it's even more important that I know I've done everything I can for Sage before I walk out the door.  No one knows how to care for her except for me, Travis, and the school nurse (and that can be debatable depending on the day.  Not that she's not wonderful to Sage, but she does call with a question now and then).  And no one really understands it like me.  And Sage has expressed a bit of concern over anyone else doing it.  SO, I need a planned appointment this time more than ever.  I'm not panicking as of now.  And I don't have plans to panic because Dr Collins seemed confident on knowing that there are ways around being booked up.  So...I don't have an exact induction date yet, but we should have something soon.  And hopefully, we'll have that name everyone is asking about by then.  Travis' aunt asked him if it was going to be weird.  Ha, no we're going to have a Sage, Jaggar and Ben. Speaking of Jaggar, I think he's starting to process there's a baby in there after all.  I don't think we'll have any jealousy issues, do you?