Obviously, there is a schedule for well check ups for children. At this age, it's on, shortly before, or shortly after their birthdays. I am behind clearly.
I was behind with Sage, too. I intended to take them BOTH before we went to the beach in July. Then I ended up just taking Sage for her "well check up" as soon as we got back from the beach. Then we were sent to the hospital, and life as we knew it stopped. It's been just a few days over 3 months since that day, but it feels like a lifetime ago.
But I couldn't neglect the fact that Jaggar needed his 3 year old check up. So, I finally just picked up the phone and called them on Monday. They scheduled it for Thursday morning. On Wednesday night, a flood of emotions came over me. The last time we casually went, we went straight to the ER. It's still difficult for me to process. It still feels like an open wound to me. It's not like a funeral that was really sad at the time, but as life goes on, you look back and just remember it. It's still very painful to think of. So, for me, going back there, even though I love that office and am so glad we use our dr there, it felt like going back to the scene of a fatal car wreck for the first time since the accident. I remembered everything about that day. Assuring my child that nothing bad would happen...and proving to be wrong. Jaggar, of course, was just happy to see the fish once we were there.
We didn't wait long. I thanked God that they didn't put us in the same room or even remotely close to the room we'd been in that day with Sage. It was actually a room I've never been in, which was even better. The dr came in and was so glad to see us. She, of course, asked about Sage and we talked about how much it all...sucks. She said she was so devastated to see that reading that day. I now know why. I wanted assurance that Jaggar was okay. I don't know why. I just...I thought Sage was. So I felt like I questioned everything. He was 3'3" tall, which put him in the 97th percentile for height, and he weighed 33lbs, putting him in the 76th percentile for weight. I thought that was GREAT. He weighed just 6 lbs less than Sage did 3 months ago at 7 years old. She said she'd like to see him be about 4 lbs heavier, but good grief, I think 76th percentile is awesome. Sage was always way below the 50th. But we are small people. Travis weighed 140lbs as a senior. I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant and still smaller than most. So, she wasn't concerned at all about it. Jaggar has gained 5 lbs since January alone. So, that's wonderful. Sage hadn't gained any weight in a year.
Then, I asked about blood sugar. She said that I could periodically test him at home, but I wanted nothing to do with it. I'd thought about it several times those first few days and weeks we were home. I even tried to talk him into it...but I just couldn't. I didn't want to bring that in our home anymore than it already was. So she offered, and I accepted. Of course, he cried. I watched that meter flashing while it read for what seemed like eternity. 95 came up. I knew it was good, but I still had to ask. She came back in, smiling and said everything was great, especially after him being sick (he had an ear infection where he finally lost his other tube...you know the ones he never needed from 10 months old...and had gotten water in it the other night, which was excruciating for him since there's still a hole there). It was a relief. I'm not going to live my life in fear. I have to remind myself that this isn't medical as much as it is spiritual, but I do have to have a balance in both right now. I can't NOT give Sage insulin in faith. That's stupidity. But what I can do is maintain my mental stability with the truth of God's word. TD Jakes posted this today, and I found it fitting.
God’s Word prevails! The obstacles of past
scars (wounds) can be overcome by present truths. Your deliverance will not start
in your circumstances; it will always evolve out of your mentality.
So important. I'm thankful for a growing, healthy boy in Jaggar and am glad that that will only continue. I'm sure of it.
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