Sweet Sleep

Look at that precious face. This is one of my favorite pictures of Jaggar. He is so pretty. It could also be because it's in focus and he's actually looking at me, which is rare. Anyway, we've had some struggles lately.

I mentioned last week that Jaggar didn't nap one day. It was not like him, and it bothered me because he wasn't just in his bed playing. He was out of his bed and screaming. He has the ability to climb out of his bed and has for a long time. For a time, he'd do it just when he woke up like anyone would. When I told him to call me when he was up, he never did it again...unless something scared him. Then he was out of there like lightning. So, the day he didn't nap, he fell asleep instantly that night, but was up before 6 am. Out of his bed in the hallway screaming. This happened for two days. Then it went into nights. No nap. To bed later. Up earlier. All while screaming.

This child is my sleeper. He asks to go to bed. We rock him but we do that for US, not him. It's just a few minutes that he will let us hold him, which doesn't last forever. And when we put him in his bed, he never calls us back. So this is major. On Saturday night/Sunday morning, he was up at midnight. Same thing: Crying. Screaming. Instantly out of his bed. I had only been asleep for an hour at the most. Personally, I only like to see the hours of 12 through 6 in the PM slots. Travis came upstairs. I kept putting Jaggar back in his bed, but he was hysterical. Jumping up and down. Screaming. Saying he wanted to rock. Saying he had to use the bathroom. Saying he wanted Daddy (or me if I walked out). Saying he wanted Sage. He mentioned the car wash at one time. He said he was scared.

Now we've experienced things with Sage before where she has been afraid, and we've felt actual presences in her room and we took care of them. We certainly did pray for Jaggar, but neither of us felt anything in his room at that time. If he had a bad dream or saw something that was no longer there that he REMEMBERS and can't let go of, I don't know. But this screaming and instantly out of the bed went on from midnight until 4 am, and that's when I gave up. I had only slept like 45 minutes, and daylight was coming! Travis and I had both had it. I brought him to my bed, and he instantly went to sleep. But he had cried so hard that for an hour in his sleep he kept doing that sniffing/trying to catch your breath thing you do after you have a sob fest. I even went as far as to facebook to ask for help. And I NEVER put my business on facebook. But I was desperate. I AM desperate. In the midst of this, I'm dealing with a UTI, which is REALLY fun.


No one gave me any suggestions from facebook that seemed to fit. They didn't say anything wrong at all, but Jaggar is not being defiant. He's not teething (he's almost 3). He's not sick because he is just FINE in the day. I'm not reading him a book at 4 am. He doesn't have any demonic toys in his room, and I have not let him watch Ghostbusters. He's not in his room playing and having a ball trying to show me that he won't sleep. He, himself, is absolutely exhausted. Putting him in my bed after 4 hours of screaming isn't "giving in" to him. It's using sense. He didn't nap yesterday but that's because it got too late in the day. He instantly went to sleep, but it was the same thing at 1:30 this morning. Travis was very patient with him and didn't get him out of the bed, and he eventually fell asleep in his own bed (thank God), but it was 2 hours later. We. Are. Tired. Personally, without sleep, I'm pretty useless. Travis does a lot better than I do. I fall apart. I start crying all the time. I freak out over everything. Ahh! My outlook on life becomes bleak, and I'm not seeing a light at the end of this tunnel. I think the worst part is that I don't know WHAT is wrong, how to fix it and most of all, WHEN it might end. I know that "this too shall pass," but so far...no good. We have to get through it though. If all else fails...don't think I'm not considering bunk beds by the end of the week. Until then, don't call me after 8 pm because that's when I went to bed last night and will continue to as long as this endures.