Opening Gifts

I had to be persuaded to open gifts.  Not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't stop eating long enough to care.  And I wasn't even indulging in the cookies and baby bites.  It was the FRUIT.  I had serving after serving.  You'd think these wise choices would have slowed, if not prevented, my bi-weekly weight gain.  Nope, 3 more lbs at the doc this week, making the ever increasing total to be 25 lbs.  I've officially out done myself with both other pregnancies in terms of the scale.  Weekly visits begin now, and that should be really fun scale wise.  Anyway, back to the shower, Jaggar was not in the mood to play with all of the other kids at this point.  Thus...here he is, crying in most of the pictures. 

I got a LOT of gift cards. 

When I say a lot, I mean over $300 in cash and gift cards.  I was so excited.  Do I have to spend that on the baby?  Black Friday IS next week.  I could use a new flat screen.  :)

Jennifer got me a Target gift card and this sweet Santa sleeper.

The little giraffe and animal bag in my lap is from Angelle.  She ordered it off of etsy, and it is filled with washcloths, burp cloths and a bib that all match the bag.  I think it's great, but she wasn't pleased with it.  Chrissie convinced her it was good, and I'm glad because it's perfect.  She also got that turquoise blanket that I had been eying just a few days ago at Target.

This was part of an outfit from Meagan complete with tiny matching shoes.  It's funny that everyone at the shower boxed or bagged or bought things that match the baby's room.  I will and am using a few of them to help finish the room.

Nichole got me a bag full of essentials:  bibs, burp cloths, gowns, diapers, wipes and this soft blanket.

Victoria, Jennifer and Suzanne

More essentials.  This could be from Elizabeth?  I know she was smart enough to include infant ibuprofen and infant gas drops, and that appears to be what I'm holding.

This is a basket of goodies from Chrissie.  Bibs, blanket, crib liner, blanket sleeper, swaddler, burp cloth, extra crib skirt, bottles..  What she really did was buy for me.  She said that she knew I never did anything for myself, so her main gifts were for when I'm not 50 lbs heavier than normal.  She got me a gift card to Victoria's Secret, a $50 Visa for anywhere, and a $100 gift card to Express.  I couldn't believe I scored at my baby shower for MYSELF.  Blessed.

I don't know why I have this face.  Because it was a very, very generous Target gift card from Suzanne and family.

I had to laugh at this lumberjack hat also included in Chrissie's basket. 

A few years ago, Travis saw this bag at Chrissie's and fell in love with it.  He thought it was the greatest thing ever, so Chrissie gave it to him to use as a man diaper bag.  You know, for all those times that he will be out and about with the kids without me.  I see it getting TONS of use for those occasions. 

My Baby Shower

This past Saturday, my dear friends put together a beautiful baby shower for me.  I've had very little time to think about all things baby these past few months, but in the midst of a lot for me, Chrissie, Suzanne, Angelle and Emily put together a very special day for me.  I enjoyed it so much, and it finally made me excited and able to focus more on the one whose kicks and squirms have been more than prevalent these past several months.  

Chrissie and me.  She always works so hard to make sure things are as I'd want them if I'd had time to care and say it lately.

Angelle opened up her beautiful new home to host the shower in.  Everyone really loved it and for good reason.

Suzanne, whose husband is the owner of Chick-Fil-A here, brought a ginormous tray of chicken nuggets.  Emily made spinach dip.  Angelle made up some kind of breakfast casserole, and she also made a wonderful fruit salad.  I ate so much of that that my tongue was raw from the acid.  Chrissie brought goat cheese, baby bites and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies from Whole Foods.  Needless to say, the food was amazing.

 They coordinated the decorations to baby's room, which I'm almost ready to reveal the final product of.

 Angelle, Elizabeth, Emily and Rhenda

 Nichole and Gracin

 With Victoria and Jennifer added in

 Sean was SO gracious enough to come and watch the kids (Travis works 6-7 days a week during football season), so that we could enjoy ourselves.

 Look at Baby Iris.

 Jaggar has been less than appealing at sleep times lately, and the effects were showing here.  He just did not know what he wanted.

 Elizabeth and Angelle

 These are just some that Chrissie took at the beginning when I asked her to, but I have so many that I'll have to separate the posts.

Sick Day

When we were in the hospital with Sage 3 months (eternity) ago, they taught us an overload of information.  The only thing that I didn't feel like I understood was a "sick day."  Well, I don't UNDERSTAND any of it, and if you talk to the nurses, they really don't either.  These past few weeks have not been fun.  Sage's blood sugars have been running up for several weeks, and I've been on the phone with doctors and nurses these past few weeks (especially the weekend) more than any friend or family member I have.  2 am blood sugar checks for well over a week now.  And then it happened in the midst of all of that:  she got sick on Thursday night.  Out of the blue.  Crying with a fever.  She moaned all night, and I knew her fever was back.  This is awful when your child DOES NOT have diabetes.  But this presented a whole new ballgame for me.  One that I did not wish to play.  Travis was out of town.  I couldn't even find the thermometer.  I had to page the on call dr to know what I could even give her medicine wise.  The next morning, I called her pediatrician, who was sadly out that day, but they still wanted to see her.

Though she never complained of her throat hurting, it did look slightly red.  She had a headache and fever of 102.9.  When you are sick, the liver releases extra glucose to fight infection.  In a person like me, the pancreas releases extra insulin to compensate.  But in Sage, this doesn't happen, so it creates a possible dangerous situation.  So in any sickness, you have to constantly monitor these blood sugars, give extra insulin, and check for what are called ketones.  These are poisons that can cause a diabetic to go into a coma.  So, LOTS of fun. The dr did a strep test, and it was positive.  The above picture is in the office.  So on top of the many shots and finger pricks she already gets, she had to have that penicillin shot that is like shooting in a bottle of glue in for 20 seconds.  It was awful.  Jaggar was crying.  Sage was screaming.  It was horrible for me to have to see her endure.  She's had enough.  To save a long story, she got the shot, but because of sickness, continued to have high blood sugars, which they expected.  She had headaches for 2 days because of the high blood sugars.  But they didn't come down 24 hours after the fever broke.  They seemed to go higher.  This sickness knocked her out of that honeymoon phase where the body makes its own insulin somewhat still.  So basically, it killed off her remaining cells.  I always thought that would be really difficult for me, and at this moment it is, but it has to happen.  Because until this happened, we can't have an unexplainable healing.  So they're having to make more adjustments...and from talking to them, there is no end in sight of that for much length of time.  So there are several more nights of 2 am blood sugars.  I haven't slept in a week.  Sometimes it takes me hours to go back to sleep after getting up at 2.   Because like the past week, they are still high, and I lay there figuring out why, how to fix it, what I will say when I call...IF I will call or just do it myself.  I am 8 months pregnant, and I wanted to enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy with the 2 kids I have.  

I fully understand that there are worse things in the world.  I get that.  But this is definitely in the top.  This is no way for anyone to live, especially a child.  I have looked for testimonies of people healed of type one diabetes and have found none.  But I just had to stop.  Because on Sunday, if I didn't hear anything else, my friend Steve so appropriately sang out of his own spirit, "Just stand on His Word."  It is all I have.  I KNOW God wants us to live well.  I have scripture after scripture of that, but sometimes, I have to ask God, if He loves us so much more than we love our own children (which is the strongest love I've known)--us as humans being evil, you know--how does HE endure this pain we all feel FOR Sage?  I haven't really gotten an answer.  But if He is as compassionate as I know He is...does He have to turn away?  Or is the outcome of this, what is on the other side, worth it?  And I don't mean the other side of eternity.  If it doesn't get better than this till eternity, God take me now. 

I can't believe that I have to give up so much of my life talking on the phone to nurses and doctors.  More importantly, I can't believe SHE is going to have to live her life like this.  It is not right.  It is purely evil.  Such an attack on such innocence.  Such responsibility (even though I do most of it) on someone whose biggest worry should be if she put her tooth under her pillow for the tooth fairy.  I simply just want to be able to breathe somewhat.  I feel like if there's anymore pressure, I might break.  But maybe I don't know my own strength.  Because if you'd told me this is where I'd be 4 months ago, I'd have said, "Oh no, I can't handle that.  No way."  But nope.  I guess the greatest thing I can say to that is, "I am STILL here."  Waiting.  Trusting.  Reassuring myself with what I know and believe to be true.  I asked Travis the other night, "Travis...do you believe God is going to heal her?  Because if not....if you don't feel that, I don't want to keep holding out, you know?"  He said, "Oh...I'll never stop believing that.  I KNOW it can happen.  I believe it will.  You just have to calm down and just live for what this moment is."  So me, being the uptight, I'd like it yesterday kind of person, is striving (and failing, then striving again) to do that.

Trick or Treat

I have to say that I dreaded Halloween this year.  The hospital did give me a list of 4 pages with almost every candy imaginable with carb counts, but it still just didn't seem as fun.  And though it's never really something I've noticed until this year, the evil of it really bothered me this year.  Make-shift graveyards in front yards.  Horror movies on every station at all hours of the day.  I couldn't wait for it to be over.  BUT I grew up trick or treating, and just like I did, my kids see nothing but candy and pumpkins, which I'm good with.  So they were SO excited on Halloween.  Sage has never done homework so fast.  When I got her up that morning for school, she threw back the covers and said, "BOO!"  Jaggar had been asking if it was time to trick or treat for days.  So it was finally their day.  

They got SO many compliments on their costumes this year, so not finding the flapper costume worked out in Sage's favor.  I think that they looked adorable.

Ha, Jaggar

 Of course, we overload them with pictures before they can do anything.

 Our glowing pumpkins

 Starting off at the neighbor's house

 This one couldn't get enough.  I walked to the end of the street and back, but Travis said Jaggar never slowed down.  He never asked to be carried.  He literally ran from house to house saying, "I want to go to another one!"

 She loved it too.

 You can see them trick or treating here.

 They got way more candy than we need.

 Jaggar ran everywhere.

Jaggar has since asked to "go trick or treating again" every day since Halloween.

 This is where they were dropping me back off at home, so I could pass out candy (watch the X factor).

 All in all, we made it through it.  It went well, and both kids are eating candy more than anyone needs.  Though I do think I have put away more than both of them put together.  On to the REAL Holidays now.