All The Way

I tend to be an extremist. All the laundry is done or none of it is done. The house is clean or the house is a wreck. I look like I just got out of bed or I look like I'm going to the club. I'm not sure why this is, but in my faith, it can get pretty serious. I felt, for a time in my life, that I was too "religious," that I didn't know how to be free. So I expressed that in basically doing what I wanted. Some of these things weren't bad, but it wasn't the "things" that I was doing but more what/who I was becoming.

I didn't really have this revolution (at least that I was aware of), but I'm not doing it anymore. I know that the Lord has spared me and has had more grace on me than I could ever even realize. I don't even know what happened, but I've just decided to go all the way for Him. I know He's been drawing me for quite some time, but something in me just finally responded! And I don't know if Travis realizes it, but I feel like I'm NICE. Nice isn't the key, and I know that I'm not a saint, but I feel kindness in me that isn't "me." Ahem, WASN'T.

I had been, and when I say HAD, being like the day before yesterday and LONG before that, just a really mean person. As I said in a previous post, I just had no grace for anyone or anything. I was mean to pretty much everyone all the time, and you better not have gotten in my way or I'd let you have it. I just feel...love. I feel purpose. We have this (or at least I did) this notion that God is sitting on a cloud with a lightning bolt ready to kill us the first mistake we make. It's as if He's WAITING on us to mess up. This is by far from the truth. God wants more than anything for us to prosper and live WELL--here on this earth! Furthermore, if God judged us, we'd all be dead. The fact is that God judged Jesus Christ on the cross for every mistake we'd make. That's it.

So I guess I want to encourage anyone who feels like they want to change, but they just can't--you are 100% correct. YOU can't change. I'd TRY to be nice, and it STILL didn't work. (By the way, you're not GOING to be nice all the time--I know this.) I had gotten way too comfortable.

We are far too familiar with a God we barely know.

He is gracious enough and loves us enough that He is constantly drawing and pushing us towards where we need to be. You will get there. We all will. He's that good.