What I've Been Doing in my Spare Time

Lately, what I've been doing in my spare time is worry/go to the doctor. I kind of laugh at this for several reasons. One is that this is so not in my character. I NEVER go to the doctor. If I'm sick, it's just going to have to run its course anyway, so why waste $25 bucks? Another reason is, who can add one day to his life by worrying? If God cares for each bird and sees when one falls, then how much more does He care for YOU? SO don't worry about what you will eat, what you will wear, what ailment will attack you...yes I'm paraphrasing, but Jesus meant that too. DON'T WORRY.

But lately...I have. Actually I think it's been more attached to me. I woke up out of a sleep two nights ago from a dream that felt like I'd actually been awake. In the dream, I felt under my arm, and there was a big knot. When I woke up, I had to go, "Did that just happen?" My arms have been hurting--actually more in my back. I've been to doctors, really just as routine checkups, because I hadn't been in so long, and EVERY time I get perfectly fine reports...but yet? I've worried. I've been anxious. I've asked everyone who will listen, "Do you think this is okay? Should I be concerned?" wanting something that I already have. Confirmation. It's ok. Why do I need confirmation from someone when the Creator of all already gave it? It's okay! I found this verse a few weeks ago.

Exodus 23:25-16
"Worship the Lord your God, and His blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span."

That last part is my absolute favorite. FULL LIFE SPAN. How does this come? Worship the Lord your God. The Bible is full of 'do this, get this.'

Anyway, I woke up this morning, and I couldn't visually focus on anything. When I got out of bed, I couldn't walk straight. NOT FUN. Sage came into my room and wanted to go downstairs. I just had to sit down. I didn't know if I was going to throw up or pass out. I thought Travis would have to drive me to the ER. It lasted for about an hour. Then it seemed to pass...mostly. I just still didn't feel "right." Soooo, I go to the dr. Of course, I prayed and believed God for nothing but good. As I waited in the waiting room, I read some of a book I'm reading, "Blessing Your Spirit." I read this, "Trust is not an act of your will, where you choose to risk something, but it's a profound emotional confidence, in which you are completely expecting things to be right. There is a time and a place for risking on God as an act of faith, even when your emotions don't agree, but it is far greater, a more wonderful special gift, for you to trust and be truly at peace with what your Father is going to do and what He has called you to do."

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4

I wondered why it said "the Lord" so many times in that one verse. I looked up Lord, and here are some definitions:
A king
A man of renowned power or authority.
A man who has mastery in a given field or activity

I think it was repeated so much, in my case, for reassurance. And He is THE KING. THE man of renowned power and authority, and THE ONE who has mastery in any given field and activity. THAT is cool.

Anyway, the cause of my dizziness was fluid in my inner ear. NOTHING to worry about, but it will FOR SURE mess you up. An added bonus was I found a new doctor that wasn't INSANE like the last experience I had there. I actually loved her.

One more thing:
On my way there, I asked the Lord to give me some kind of confirmation (I wonder if He rolled His eyes, haha) to REASSURE me. A song came on the radio that I'd heard before and started to switch it, but I heard Him say, "Nope, leave it. It's from me to you, baby." I laughed/cried at the same time. You've probably heard it too. It was enough for me to chill out. :)

Chill out whatcha yelling' for?
Lay back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
you will see
I like you the way you are
When we're drivin' in your car
and you're talking to me one on one but you've become

Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no